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Toilet Seat Up or Down? No Reason to Argue

Why do men and women argue over the toilet? Not over who should use it first after coming home when more than one person has a need to use it, but the long-lived debate of whether to leave the seat up or down.

Stop Arguing!

You’ve come to the right place, for I am going to put an end to the arguing and give you the solution that is fair, and aesthetically pleasing to all.

Each time you visit the bathroom, restroom, water closet, or whatever term you call the room with the toilet, the seat and lid should be down.

Toilet Rules

Step 1.

  • MEN: You will bend over and lift only the lid, if you will be doing #2, or the lid and seat, if you will just be doing #1.
  • WOMEN: You will bend over and lift the lid.

Step 2.
Use the facility as required.

Step 3.
When finished return the toilet to the proper finish position — seat and lid down.

Advantages

  • It is so much better looking to see a toilet with the lid down than if it is up.
  • This requires men and women to do pretty much equal duty.
  • Keeping lid down, contains germs while flushing
  • Reduces the chances of other items in the room — like your toothbrush — becoming contaminated by germs
  • Arguing over the toilet seat will never be a reason to end a marriage or relationship

Disadvantages

  • None. I can’t think of any.
Life is short. Gripe hard.
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5 Responses to “Toilet Seat Up or Down? No Reason to Argue”

  1. Posted March 4, 2012 at 6:03 am | Permalink

    Such deep thoughts on a Sunday. You and Thoreau, man, you got it going on. :)

  2. Posted March 4, 2012 at 7:30 am | Permalink

    Disadvantage: People with bad backs have to bend over to lift the lid time and time again. Your argument becomes slightly invalid with the separate “water closet” or toilet room that modern homes have. Nothing’s fallen into my toilet since we moved here, and germs {bacteria} don’t go anywhere.

    • Posted March 4, 2012 at 1:13 pm | Permalink

      Susan: When my back is bad, I lift the lid and seat with my foot. When my feet/legs go out on me at the same time, I guess that would be a disadvantage.

  3. Posted March 4, 2012 at 3:30 pm | Permalink

    Three remarkable, recent, apparently unrelated incidents:
    February 25th – builds desk for mother in law, posts photos. Public praise and acclaim from mother in law.

    March 2 – posts public treatise on the “proper” state of the toilet seat. Note that conclusion was in favor of the women’s way of doing it. Public praise and acclaim from wife.

    March 2 – Public announcement of Canon 5D Mark III.

    Coincidence? You decide.

    :)

  4. Posted March 4, 2012 at 3:49 pm | Permalink

    By the way, there is another solution. The secret to a happy marriage that my sister shared with me years ago. Separate bathrooms.

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